Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus) - 2.5.4. lyrics

‘I'll suggest this too: if perhaps a scheming woman Or freedman controls some old idiot, be their ally. Commend them, so you'll be commended in absentia: That helps too. But it's best to storm the prime objective Yourself. Does the fool scribble atrocious verses: Praise them. Is he a lecher: don't wait to be asked: Hand Penelope over swiftly to your better.' Do you think she could be induced to, she so chaste, So honest, no Suitor tempted her from the right course? ‘Why, yes: the young men who came were sparing of gifts, They were more eager for the cooking than the loving. That's why your Penelope's chaste: but once she scents Profit from some old man, in company with you, she'll Be like a b**h that won't be scared from a juicy bone. I'll tell you something that happened in my old age. A foul Theban crone willed to be carried to the grave Like this: her body well-oiled on her heir's bare shoulders. Surely to see if dead she could give him the slip: I guess He'd pressed her too hard while she was alive. Take care:'