Hope for the Dying - The Awakening lyrics

I am wasting away The desires of my mind left A shameful path walked by a man Surely unworthy of grace And I have no one to blame And no one to take the pain away Ive had my life Hit the bottom multiple times before my eyes So Im left wasting away, wasting away But Im supposed to believe That I can be saved When the life Ive lead is so despicable Can I push the limits, be accepted for the things that Ive done Behind Closed Doors For Ive lived a life that Im ashamed of Will I be forgiven, or abandoned for the secrets I keep Behind Closed Doors Never had I imagined Id seek forgiveness And be accepted Like I had never committed these sins As I lay filthy, disgusted at my own reflection I slowly I wonder if Ill ever end this suffering So I bide my time And I lie awake at night Then I close my eyes And wonder if Ill ever wake up Its been too long now Since I could believe In places for people like me To have their sins washed clean Its been too long Since I believed Can I be clean Its been too long