Hiway - The Wrapper lyrics

It was brisk December day in Northern California I was doing my part to boost the economy Trying to get my last minute shopping done But the last paid period wasn't promising My holiquest has gone to sh** I got a simple mission but I can't accomplish it My Pops had it easy Kids these days all want that expensive a** electronic sh** Just because they want me to buy them a damn iPad Doesn't mean I'll do it Little ungrateful motherf**ers will be lucky if they don't get a rock with a string tied to it And all these punk as carolers trying to spread all the cheer I can see right through it Y'all don't want to see me cancel out Santa's handiwork Especially after seeing that green guy do it My bad I'm a little turnt off of all this eggnog Got the jolly old spirit in me, grandmama I'm down I'd die for the yultide Matter of fact, motherf**ing Starbucks and the cups Y'all want a war y'all got it Wait Aaron umm aren't you Jewish? Shouldn't you be wearing that funny little hat and going hrah with your words? No I'm only half, you b**h Oh, well whatever you believe in happy holidays I wish nothing but the best for you Oh I see what you did there, nice By the way, how politically correct of you I could barely hear the bigotry in all that It's good to see that some people can respect my views Now if you'll excuse me Ima take my dreidel and bounce while I'm still feeling kind of destitute Fair warning I'm a cold, piece of work, frosty Do not make me, have to beat you little motherf**er like I'm beating Crosby (Jew reference) Somebody must have poured a sh** load of brandy, up in that hot tottie inch One hoe, two hoe, three hoe I'm about to slay some sh** Now who got shottie, (BANG) Finna make it rain, dear time for you to get in that I'm trying to make some beard pose Yes I'm rude hop in it In a drunken stupor showing off my alcoholic red nose So bright you would even see it makes my whole head glow When I'm dead frozen I tread slow You should let'em know Ain't nobody touching you when that bob sled race Little mama ready set go Okay, random thought, what are we aiding and abetting Saint Nic When he's breaking and entering, all up in our fridge Eating all our cookies but depending on behavior our kids may never get a thing Kind of warped if ask me In a way this sounds like one hell of a despot An old man with a power complex and a colony of elves working in a sweat shop I'm jamming all the holiday cla**ics, cooking up jingle bell rock in the R1 Home alone at the trap house like Kevin Mcallister Y'all don't really want none, get it If you think you can match wits and outsmart me By all means then come on son I throw a brick in your face Make you fall for it twice till you realize That you f**ed with the wrong one [Twice] This is a fictitious, this is something for you bitter little b**hes Listen up your sip this Christmas, please don't get too big for your britches Please don't throw a fit and go ballistic if you get what you wrote on your wish list Have a happy Hanukkah, a happy Kwanza And yes have a merry little Christmas