Poor Alfred there's no doubt you were a wreck Poor Alfred you slipped from your wooden deck You were constantly drunk you could not even swim Like a big stone you sank, your story is quite grim You always complained you didnt like your life After two beers you'd beat the hell out of your wife Poor Alfred Poor Alfred Poor Alfred you should not have left the pub Poor Alfred stuck to your grog and your grub Now you're feeding the crabs at the bottom of the sea No one is really sad (and) finally your kids are free You always complained you didnt like your life After two beers you'd beat the hell out of your wife Poor Alfred Poor Alfred Poor Alfred you were constantly drunk Poor Alfred you were just a piece of junk The sea was fairly rough (and) you were busy drinking For a bucket of fish, you ended up drowning You always complained you didnt like your life After two beers you'd beat the hell out of your wife Poor Alfred Poor Alfred