Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - The HAWP Before Christmas lyrics

('Twas the night before Christmas, the Burch home at peace Yet two creatures were stirring, one thin, one obese) Anthony: There are no Christmas games that are worth half a sh**. I can't write a holiday HAWP. f**in'... sh**. Ashly: Don't rhyme sh** with sh** (Ash whispered with haste Then drew back her hand and b**h-slapped his face) Ant: f**ing listen, you b**h! (yelled the thin, skinny queer) Name me one goddamn game with holiday cheer Ash: Well in Banjo Kazooie there was Freezeezy Peak He had a sh**-ton of Christmas (said the short-statured freak) Ant: That's just one world. Though you don't want to hear it, Not a single full game is about Christmas spirit Ash: Silly Anthony Burch, you've forgotten your roots. The world of indie gaming bears your damn Christmas fruits Garden Gnome Carnage is a game that delves Into the war between gnomes and Santa's army of elves Hurling bricks like bombs will build up a huge score Uhh, something something something, your mom is a who*e Ant: You want to play more? Ash: Shut the f** up. Pen Pen Olympics a speedy Christmas slalom Ant: This is just SkiFree remade Ash: WHAT THE DICK IS YOUR PROBLEM? Crowd favorite Line Rider is Christma**y in a way The hero's got a snowcap and he rides a cool sleigh Ant: I like the minimal graphics, the stark look of cleanness Ash: Instead of a course I can just draw a penis! Snowcraft is simple childish and easy Yet sweet like a cookie, with a tone free and breezy Ant: Everyone's played that game, you stupid, fat s*ut (But still thinking of cookies, Ash replied only) Ash: Wait, what? Orsinal's Winterbells is cute and fun to play Ash: Aw, look at the bunny! Ant: What the f** are you gay? Ash: Play Merry Gear Solid this time of year It's a fun clever parody of Papa Burch: METAL— (Credits) (Christma**y fanart) Ash: Mewy Cwistmas Mudaf**as (The Line Rider hero falls off the penis and plummets to his d**h)