Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Text Adventures lyrics

Anthony: Hey Ash, whatcha playin'? Ashly: Text adventures. (On AOL Instant Messenger) AnthonyDamnBurch (6:52:20PM): ash, do you know where my thumb drive is ashlyburchmofugg (6:52:33PM): I do not understand "thumb drive." AnthonyDamnBurch (6:52:48PM): the little USB memory stick I let you borrow last week ashlyburchmofugg (6:52:53PM): You are sitting hunched in front of a computer. AnthonyDamnBurch (6:53:01PM): what ashlyburchmofugg (6:53:14PM): The Computer ROom is painted with white stucco. Pet stains and discarded clothing litter the floor. ashlyburchmofugg (6:53:27PM): Exits are to the North and South. AnthonyDamnBurch (6:53:32PM): god f**ing dammit ashlyburchmofugg (6:53:42PM): I do not understand "god f**ing dammit." AnthonyDamnBurch (6:53:49PM): tell me where you hid my goddamn thumb drive ashlyburchmofugg (6:54:03PM): It occurs to you that it might be in the pocket of your pants. (Anthony checks) ashlyburchmofugg (6:54:17PM): No, not that pair. To access your inventory, type "inv." AnthonyDamnBurch (6:54:29PM): just tell me which pair of f**ing pants you hid it in ashlyburchmofugg (6:54:37PM): I do not understand the statement. (Anthony resignedly sighs and begins typing in reluctant submission) AnthonyDamnBurch (6:54:39PM): inv ashlyburchmofugg (6:55:13PM): You are holding: A wallet keys $.32 in change A folded note (Anthony produces and unfolds the note to read it) ashlyburchmofugg (6:55:33PM): You open the folded note. it reads: "What a canundrum you find yourself in! If only you could find the clue hidden under the southwestern leg of the bed behind you!" ashlyburchmofugg (6:55:52PM): You have scored 1 point(s). You have scored a total of 1 out of 100 points. AnthonyDamnBurch (6:56:00PM) it's spelled "conundrum." ashlyburchmofugg (6:56:07PM): Shut the f** up. (Anthony walks over to the bed and struggles to move it) ashlyburchmofugg (6:56:11PM): You cannot pick that up. AnthonyDamnBurch (6:56:20PM): just tell me where the thumb drive is before I come into your room and beat you to d**h ashlyburchmofugg (6:56:43PM): Suddenly, you remember: you left it right on your mattress, next to your pillow! You quickly rush out of the computer room to reclaim it. (Anthony angrily leaves the room) ashlyburchmofugg (6:57:09PM): >S You are in The Hallway. The entrance to your room is to the West. The bathroom, to the East. ashlyburchmofugg (6:57:17PM):W You enter your room. Ant: (Offscreen) Oh my god! ashlyburchmofugg (6:57:32PM): You see and smell the huge deuce Ashly dropped on your mattress while you were trying to find your thumb drive. Ant: That is disgusting! Why did you poop in my bed! ashlyburchmofugg (6:57:36): You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Ant: Why! Why did you poop in my bed! (Continues over the credits) There's m... oh, my god! Ohhh, god, Ash, you got it all over! Ohh, this is the worst thing you've ever done. Oh, why did you even do that! I didn't do anything. Ohhh, what did you eat? ashlyburchmofugg (6:58:19PM): You disgustedly carry the feces-filled sheets to the washing machine, stinking of poop and regret. ashlyburchmofugg (6:58:39PM): ***YOU ARE AN a**hole*** Your score is 1 out of a possible 100, in 12 turns. (Type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT):