Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Persona 3 lyrics

Anthony: Hey Ash, whatcha playing? Ashly: Persona 3. Ant: Really? Persona 4 just came out, why would you even—(Ash shoots herself in the head). Ant: We are gathered here today to pay our respects to Ashly Burch, who k**ed herself while trying to reenact Persona 3. 1: What's Persona 3? Papa Burch: A game where you f**ing k** yourself, apparently. Ant: That's not what it's about, she just oversimplified things. 1: What's it about, then? Ant: Uh, you ah, collect monster things by exploring this big dungeon thing and making friends. Justin: Like Pokémon? Ant: No. 2: Like Pokémon with guns? 1: Like Pokémon where you k** yourself. Justin: Wait, so Ash was a Pokémon? Ant: No, it's not– 2: There are no guns? Ant: There are no Pokémon. Justin: I wish I were a Pokémon. 2: But there are guns. 1: And you do shoot yourself. 2: To make your monsters fight for you. Justin: Does that mean you're a Pokémon too? Ant: Yes. ...Yes to your question, not to your question. 1: So it's suicide Pokémon. Ant: Seppuku Pokémon. Ash: Seppukúmon. Justin: Oh, so you were a trainer! You found her in the tall gra**, munching aimlessly at whatever pa**ed by. You crouched hesitantly before hitting her with her elemental weakness. (Anthony slaps her.) Ant: Look, the gun thing is just an evoker. It's just how you summon your personas, the fourth game doesn't even use a gun. 1: What does it use? Ant: Cards. Justin: Ash was a Pokémon card? (Anthony shoots himself.) (Credits) 1: My Charmander casts Ember and your Mewtwo is knocked out! 2: f**! Ash: Alright, deal me in. Me and Psyduck are gonna make it rain on you b**hes.