Henry Gross - The Night You Picked Up the Check lyrics

I saw a man eating fire Another one walking the high wire Saw an honest politician Some dude with X-ray vision But the most amazing thing that I've ever seen even better than that centerfold in playboy magazine was The night you picked up the check Atheists began to genuflect The earth stood still, the sea was parted Love came to the broken-hearted Nature's balance seemed to be upset The night you picked up the check Some people throw down a fifty You've got a gift for being thrifty When you reach in your pocket Your arm slips out of socket That's why I nearly died, could not believe my eyes I was stunned, speechless, taken by surprise The night you picked up the check Was a sight I never will forget Rattled by the revelation Couldn't start a celebration I was paralyzed by the effect The night you picked up the check Penny pinching's your religion And you're always on a mission So no way I could envision You'd break with tradition This unexpected act of reciprocity Was met with shock, awe and curiosity Grown men began to cry Women fainted at the sight Everybody wondering at the same time If you'd come to your senses or left them behind The night you picked up the check