Henry Bowers - Henry Bowers vs Chedda Cheese lyrics

[Round 1: Chedda Cheese] First of all, I never been a fan of your work No songs I would ever play cause Dracula was the only good song you ever made And as far as your film career, it's not that I don't endorse it I've always just been too scared to watch House Of A 1,000 Corpses And what are you supposed to be? Some sort of Swedish Jamaican? That combination makes for some complicated communication So choose a nation, cause when you say biyacan I can't tell if you're saying "beer can" or "bacon" People always confuse Switzerland with Sweden and he takes it as a diss One mistake is all it takes to get him pissed So the only thing that Chedda has in common with the way that you exist Is that neither of us like to be mistaken for the Swiss But the people think you're weird up in Stockholm Because from ear to ear your jawbone is the beard of a lawn gnome For you there is no winning, they say that my flow's sickening Bone chilling, so thrilling, oh really no kidding His favorite past time is gold digging He shaves his mustache for smooth entry for nose picking But I ain't saying he's a gold digger but Henry Bowers is a nose picker I drop it to get props and I won't stop til I'm on top Even you think you really gon' see me flop, give it all up and just stop I don't care when your pitiful CD drops Cut the ridiculous mop, looking like a degenerate ZZ Top chilling at King Of The Dot Smooth as it gets, put you to the test My 3-4 pound leaves your pound losing their breath I never raise the bar for improvement so just give me that top tier opponent I'll prove I'm the best Whoo! [Round 1: Henry Bowers] You calling me a "nose picker" no way Everyone who watches battles knows that's O'shea I learned my English from Inspector Gadget, it was crazy fun Now I speak the damn thing as if it's my native tongue And the journey battling has taken me on is an amazing one But why the f** does it have to include me battling Bobby from The Brady Bunch? Organik, I already battled Charron so I'm thinking maybe you being mean Cause how many bars do you expect me to write about a Canadian geeky teen? And if you actually think Bobby Brady is defeating me Well that's about as likely as me shaving me squeaky clean But what if he stepped his game up and changed his name up to Cheesy Puffs and quit spitting easy stuff And started acting mean and tough Well maybe then this baby can defeat this Scandinavian Yeah right, and this Canadian drives a Mercedes Benz full of hot lady friends Who are all craving him screaming, "Later when we're back at the crib we want you in our cave's again." Conclusion, not f**ing likely so bite me And speaking of biting you shouldn't take that sh** lightly You took a little bit of Tricky P and a whole lot of Charron And you came up with a style then you call it your own Man, I flow on mic's like it's magic Your flow is tight like your granny And while I over k** you over bite like Organik This sport is not for you so what you oughta do is to try and find doctor soon Cause here's the honest truth, after this harsh dispute when I picked apart this dude To honor his crappy memory they'll start to shoot A 21 fart salute [Round 2: Chedda Cheese] Ayo, he compared me to Charron so now I'll blaze this dude Cause he disgraced you too so this is deja vu And he's got a Dungeons & Dragons club that he started up last winter He and his friends pretend that they're some sort of mystical half lizards and mages who cast blizzards No it's nothing to do with Klu Klux when I say your Klan members know you as the Grand Wizard A bunch of teen virgins determined to keep learning about the life of black magic and summoning sea serpents You're a naive person to think you'll achieve working That moronic mythological magic on me Merlin My syllables seem to carry I'm sick of this Swedish fairy Who's thinking this Sweed is scary? You're sweeter than Swedish berries And since I know you love your dreads I'll take a couple locks and cut 'em off Your hairdo had you double crossed and left you looking dumb as rocks So when I saw his mom and pops I wasn't shocked His ugly bummy mother's got a muffin top and mutton chops What I'm dropping is just a preview Wanna spit with the pros then quick talking and let me teach you I'm sick with the flow, you thought that nobody sees you But this prick was exposed when I caught him on Google Street View, picking his nose I'm who you'll never be, you a**ume you're better? Please You're coming in second place, number two like the letter B You're losing to Chedda Cheese So it's funny that Captain Blackbeard can't even conquer two of the seven seas (C's) [Round 2: Henry Bowers] I'm actually embarra**ed to see my name next to yours on the damn flier And yeah I'd rather look like a wizard than a gay a** vampire And also ask yourself, what does Chedda have that Henry doesn't have as an artist? Well, his virginity for starters And I'm a big solid rock and he's just some damn pebble And I've got a fan base/ba** and he's got a fan treble I know that was sh** but anyway Henry's the wonder man and ladies are wetting their underpants Now let me put this in terms that Chedda can understand You and your homeboys are wack as f** Worse case of sh**ty Canadians acting tough Since the casting of Battlestar Galactica Which would've been a great show if you people hadn't frakked it up And so say we all I drop megatons, you don't like what you're seeing See I'm Megatron and you're Micro Machine I'm a sawed off shotgun You are sort of not one Still you're trying to act fly like you rhyme tight in the limelight But I guess it's hard when you'd rather look quite like the Twilight guy, right? I mean you're pale as f** as you look like you've starved son But from them pimples I gathered you must've been s**ing the blood of MarvWon In short, you won a couple of battles and now you're sorta amped Going around thinking that you're some sort of champ Well I'm thinking you're not cause here's the thing you forgot You ain't no King Of The Dot, just the king of pimples and spots I'm sorry for acting rude but is that acne dude or have some k**er bees with attitude been attacking you? You look at my face and scream out, "Jesus it's k**ing me." I put your face in the box; pizza delivery [Round 3: Chedda Cheese] Henry Bowers you're a parasite, don't even prepare to fight Cause I'ma win it I can feel it in the air tonight And Weird Al is my idol of parodies I care to write But clearly you're the one who's living in an Amish Paradise And no one in your country really knows you for your raps, come clean Til today you've been living in the back unseen So to Canada you're only known as that one Sweed Who'd be nothing without Toronto; Mats Sundin My rhythm rattles your dome like it's supposed to I got that compatible flow, the sh** is old school So leave the battles alone, you s** at rap as a whole I'm in a cla** of my own like I was home schooled Now, when it comes to rap you lack the parts of the brain that are so essential Since every line is over your head you got no credentials You need to sharpen up your mind, you're too dull and got no potential That's why you're always missing the point like a broken pencil But I'm only here to make it known you really should've stayed at home Ruining your life like Tom Cruise did to Katie Holmes I said I'd try to leave his age alone but you still write on tablets made of stone dated back to ancient Rome Not bright but you were writing song and making poems when I was still collecting Pokemon and Crazy Bones The days when you were jamming out to Danger Zone And Pirates of The Caribbean casted you as Davy Jones I'll prove that I'm the man and that you're the one we're laughing at You just look retarded like fanny pack And since English is your second language makes it hard to battle rap I guess that means that both of us just battled with a handicap [Round 3: Henry Bowers] Okay, okay, that Toronto and Sundin sh** was true and profound Apart from the fact that it's the other way around Listen close cause these are facts I actually heard someone some of Chedda's cheesy tracks And I kept hearing wack flows on all of them and that shows incompetence And now my ears are all lactose intolerant So could you quit acting like a f**ing diva When your tracks on, nobody wants to bump The Cheesa And if any of your hoes are skanky to let Chedda Cheese in your p**y It probably smells like cheddar cheese in your p**y I know what you're thinking, "Charron already spit that sh**. Why you biting his rhymes?" Well, cause it serves him right cause he bites all the time Now, I'm shredding this Chedda don't care if you're thinking he's nicer Cause I'm from Scandinavia, home of the Cheese slicer And then I'll make a fortune cause back home Little bitty slices of Canadian Chedda Cheese are pretty priceless And please don't take this the wrong way I mean priceless like the facial expression of Brigante When he was told to "Shut the f** up" by Arcane So I got crazy swag and you're ain't there, you're K.D. Lang, I'm George St. Pierre You practiced and rehearsed for this for like four months Still I'm not impressed by your performance I'll f** his girl til she bursts and deflates Stomp on his legs til his knees break I'll bring heat waves and I won't stop until he's baked to Cheese cake And you know what? I'm having enough of your double time rhyming Pitiful people keep talking about 'em Said it was ill, incredible sk**s but uhhh Nope, I looked but I never could find 'em I'm [?] Chedda is better with medicine His flowing is wack, it's holding him back so step it up or you will never win And that's the truth