Heather Dale - King of All Trades lyrics

The doge of Venice and council of ten were watching their town go astray The coffers are lean, there's no money to spend, it's a state of financial decay The cobblers are squabbling and no making shoes The vintner have gone and forsaken the booze The merchants are marching demanding we choose Just what is the king of all trades, aha, just what is the king of all trades The doge of Venice and council of ten took cloaks and went out to the street There they were swarmed by a jostle of men who could barely keep up on their feet The shipwright came forward and puffed up his chest "When there's goods to be carried my fleet is the best, They just make the stuff I take care of the rest Of course Im the kind of all trades, aha, of course I'm the king of all trades." The dye master elbowed his way through the crowd and laughed in the ship master's face "I cannot imagine what makes him so proud when my tubs could beat his in a race. His ships are turned back 'cuz their rats are infected His sailors are brawling but that was expected He always makes sure that his backside's protected He'd never be king of all trades, aha, he'd never be king of all trades." The wizened old j**eler peered up through his lens and scoffed at the dye master's rant. "I see that he's screaming blue murder again when we all know his vat's on a slant The water down river from him is vermillion And all of his colors go grey when it raining And you don't want to know what that indigo stain is And he'd never be king of all trades, aha, he'd never be king of all trades." The tailor came up as he skirted the mob and willingly joined in the fray. "I'm not one for making a cutting remark but that j**eler will lead you astray He'll sell it as gold when it's copper beneath He buys his gla** gems from a kid up the street I've seen him pull fillings from dead people's teeth He'd never be king of all trades, aha, he'd never be king of all trades." The doge of Venice and council of ten were quietly inching away When the smith came up through the gaggle of men "I'm delivering my goods for the day. There's nails for the shipwright and hooks for the dyer, There's tools for the j**eler (and his dentistry pliers) You call yourselves workers but I call you liars With talk of the king of all trades, pshaw, your talk of the king of all trades." The doge of Venice and council of ten looked one to the other with glee. "We thank one and all for the effort you've spent, it has certainly helped us to see I think we have found where our king has been lurking He sticks to his job while you others are shirking He makes you your tools so you all can get working We declare him the king of all trades, aha, the smith is the king of all trades Aha, the smith is the king of all trades"