Heath McNease - The Gun Show lyrics

[Hook: all] Come get your tickets to the gun show Lotta love, lotta lights, lotta gun smoke Don't run from the guns, though Why watch 'em in the back when you can feel 'em in the front row? And welcome to the spandex fest Where no matter the question, the answer's "yes" No denying this man is fresh The guns go "bang" and the crowd goes deaf [Interlude: Heath McNease] Hey, hey Playdough...yeah, I'm gonna be reading my Bible in the tanning booth, so if I miss a call, just tell them I'll hit 'em back, okay? Respect [Verse 1: Heath McNease] (Oh) Who wanna see daddy deadlift a pick up truck With no hiccup, just a thick, ripped up bust A fist rigged to crush the big bricks to dust And victims to mush, a bit ridiculous Ladies get weak when they see Me on a steed in the breeze so free Testosterone factory The leather pants are better when they're tight enough to hear the pelvis shattering I know you like the goods I don't know why you wouldn't Cause I've been chopping wood But don't know where to put it I'm a lumberjack crossed with a Thunder Cat Swords of omens and light...fight the gun clap [Hook] [Interlude 2: Playdough] Yo, Heath! I finally did it, dude! When I take my shirt off now, all the ladies are like, "Is that Playdough? Owww." [Verse 2: Playdough] Looked your name up in the phone book Nothing new, front pew, check it oh, look It was thick and tricky, still lift it And in the name of the Lord, I tore it and ripped it A gospel gangsta speedo, swolled-up libido Crossed with T-Bone and Debo A power team jumpsuit Check it out one-two Saturday Night Live, we will pump you up With a six pack, gift wrap your hate-orade Washboard belly, Captain Crunch the day-to-day TX-in', flexin', boiled up Get the BandAids out cause your boy's cut [Hook] Come get your tickets to the gun show Lotta love, lotta lights, lotta gun smoke Don't run from the guns, though Why watch 'em in the back when you can feel 'em in the front row? And welcome to the spandex fest Where no matter the question, the answer's "yes" No denying this man is fresh The guns go "bang" and the crowd goes deaf [Outro: Playdough, Heath respectively] Playdough: I got lotion and I got soul Heath: Ultraviolet remote control Playdough: Carbohydrates just say no Heath: And yes to the bovine growth hormones Playdough: Man, I'll pull a charter bus with my teeth Heath: I will ma**age you after that feat Playdough: I'll bench press...I'm not too comfortable with you rubbing my shoulders, bro... Heath: Don't say that bro. Let's do this Playdough: No...it makes me feel like a weirdo Heath: I don't care, dude! I don't care! It's the 21st century. You should be a professional, give these people what they paid for! Playdough: Oh, bust it! [Hook] Come get your tickets to the gun show Lotta love, lotta lights, lotta gun smoke Don't run from the guns, though Why watch 'em in the back when you can feel 'em in the front row? And welcome to the spandex fest Where no matter the question, the answer's "yes" No denying this man is fresh The guns go "bang" and the crowd goes deaf