Now I was down upon my luck And the jobs were hard to find I was sort of short on cash And my bills were way behind So I went to see my life long friend An old man now by trade I figured it's how he had help me out With his fortune he had made I said, Old pal, I need your help I hate to be so bold But remember when I saved your life Down at the swimming hole Now I'd like to ask a favor If you can see your way I'd like to have a little loan And then I heard him say Excuse me total stranger I can't seem to recall Are you absolutely certain That we've ever met at all?" "I'd really like to help you out As he opened wide the door So long total stranger That I've never seen before Now once I had a girlfriend Who really caught my eye And when the wife was out of town Well, I'd court her on the sly We'd taken all the nightclubs And honky tonk around Join at all the parties And really do the town But then one night my wife came home She must have smelled a rat She looked around from place to place And found where I was at Well, there we were all cuddled up I knew that I was dead But before my wife could say a word I jumped right up and said She's just a total stranger who came in off the streets The place is kinda crowded So I offered her a seat" "Now, I couldn't leave this lady Just a standin' on the floor She's just a total stranger That I've never seen before My friend said let's go huntin' I've got the gun and chills The birds are really flyin' And I think we'll do quite well He k**ed a half a dozen Then said, I supposed I really ought to tell you That the huntin' season's closed About that time he heard a noise And he ducked behind a tree He took the gun, shelled some birds And gave them all to me Up stepped the old game warden And found me standing there Before I had a chance to talk I heard my friend declare He's just a total stranger and I was pa**ing by I saw this total stranger Shoot those birds out of the sky It's a shame the way some people The laws they do ignore Like this total stranger That I've never seen before