There's a lot of ways to die Under Ireland's sky But the worst way by far might be a bit of a surprise I'd rather be knifed in bar Or hit by a car Than to meet my end lookin' in to her eyes And hear the cries Of my demise My last goodbyes! Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world And you better start running if you ever see her She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel I was at the county fair And Scuzzy Kizoozle was there She was slicing through the crowd like a mower mowing lawns I watched the people fall To her razor sharp claws And then she was in my face before I knew what was goin' on! I raised my arm And tried to run But I was stunned! Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world And you better start running if you ever see her She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel Her teeth sank into my arm and Everything but pain was gone And I looked down at Her blood-stained fangs She looked into my eyes And the fear was paralyzin' I felt the blood Running from my veins And oh the pain And oh the pain And oh the pain! Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world And you better start running if you ever see her She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel I'm only alive today By God's grace I'm the only man who's met with her And lived to tell the tale But I keep my eyes wide She will never be denied Until the day I die She'll be there on my trail O'er hill and dale Through rain and hail She will prevail!