Half Man Half Biscuit - It Makes The Room Look Bigger lyrics

I've just finished decorating It was very irritating And I know they're going to come around tonight And I know they're gonna say to me tonight: "It makes the room look bigger It makes the room look bigger" So let's forget about the open-top bus ride Standing tall on the town hall balcony It's about as likely as hen's teeth It's about as likely as hen's teeth And as the light gets dimmer I watch the chance get slimmer But I'm putting up a hook to hang my hopes upon There's a fella coming round to stick the gas back on And if truth be told now that Thelma's gone It makes the room look bigger I'm drawn towards the souvenir stores I twirl around the key fob rack Well it's alright for Nicholas and for Neil Yeah well how do you think that makes me feel? And all the while I can see I'm on the CCTV Elderly lady at the bus stop Thinks I'm going to eat her And so to rea**ure her I ask her for the time And her sense of relief at my friendly tone Reveals itself in her karmic moan: "You can wait twenty minutes And nothing comes along And then all of a sudden three thugs rob your pension Oh there's generally one at twenty-five past There's generally one at twenty-five past They come swinging round that corner They think they're Benny Goodman" But I'm putting up a hook to hang my hopes upon There's a fella coming round to stick the gas back on And if truth be told now that Thelma's gone It makes the room look bigger Oh tiptoe to the front row of the Korn Show With a sub-machine-gun