Half Man Half Biscuit - Ecclesiastical Perks lyrics

In pulpits In pulpits They can preach naked from the waist downwards In cloisters They can smack each others' arses These be ecclesiastical perks These be ecclesiastical perks Cheap flagstones Cheap flagstones Clergyman, he's got a drive to lay Clergyman, he's got a drive to lay Wet sponges (at the summer fair) shall miss me These be ecclesiastical perks These be ecclesiastical perks Rumour had it there was none left, so I swiftly walked round to Archie's house. Archie, people are saying you haven't got any. What am I supposed to do? You know the situation. Reverend, come, sit down. For you there is always some. How much do you need I'm gonna bottle up my love And shake it up and down And spray it all over Jesus Near Fakenham Joke breasts on No seatbelt Nice policeman Fierce Panda All-nighter Fee no pay Hey hey hey hey hey These be (uuuuuuuuh) These be (uuuuuuuuh) These be