Half Man Half Biscuit - Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home Show lyrics

So banish me to the furnace I must own though My actions are in no way born Out of some sort of Darwinist offensive I just get a bit fidgety times Thumbs twiddle in the middle of a funfair High jinks to break up the so-so Me thinks we need a little ho ho ho Go – Earl's Court A bag of rivets for the goon at the entrance Straight'ways the floor gets slippery Eyes glaze, and Bobby's getting jittery Don't tease him It don't please him What's that, you want me to appease him? How so, Sir? With Tetris? Not possible – didn't bring the GameBoy Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show Once in a while I need these childish kicks Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show God speed the trial to cite my childish kicks Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Brickbats for Sottsa** Bouquets for the chuckling footstool In the heart of darkness There are no ha**le-free cabinets Sometimes occasional tables Mid-air, look kind of dangerous Llewelyn-Bowen, two Carols Go on Bobby, both barrels Three cheers for the infinite leaflets Ticker-tape got me thinking of Kempes Funky fabric Hip hip hooray There's no stopping him Rip rip away Heaven – yes Distant now One imagines After this lot Still gasp At his agility Albeit in the tree of tranquility Yes it's a mess I don't deny the crime But look I've reduced your ironing time Multifunctional, is that what you call it? Well here's a thought Feel free to install it Your sink may well be superior But we all stink once we reach the interior Next week I'm taking him up west We've not seen Lord of the Dance Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show Once in a while I need these childish kicks Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show God speed the trial to cite my childish kicks Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Wade in the water, wade in the water, children Wade in the water, wade in the water, children