Half Man Half Biscuit - Lord Hereford's Knob lyrics

As I camped out one evening to take the midnight air I heard a maiden grieving from somewhere over there Who is it you are mourning For whom do you wear grey She said I pine for no one, I just can't pay my way Ever since the chattering cla**es invaded Hebden Bridge And priced the likes of me and mine To the pots of the Pennine Ridge To South East Wales I was forced to flee And now I have no job That's why tonight I'm sitting on top of Lord Hereford's Knob For you I'd waive expenses, to try and help you out For your beauty influences the landscape hereabouts Look up my betrothed at Three co*ks Be sure she'll see you right While I go up to Yorkshire, and there avenge your plight Soon reports were filtering through to me The pair were drowning in bliss I can't recall having ever been cuckolded quite like this I gave up hope ironically for Lent Come see me living in a bivvie If you're ever up Pen-y-Ghent Although upon reflection I've been a trifle green I still think with affection on everything that's been So prepare that fatted calf And string up the bunting gay Your brisk and bonny ploughboy is coming home today And tonight he'll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford's Knob Tonight he'll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford's Knob On touching the trig point, I found my thrill To the east Brokeback Mountain, to the west, Benny Hill I'll give you the grid ref, you might like to go SO224350 Could this be heaven, would that be the Severn Twmpa, Twmpa, you're gonna need a jumper It gets a bit chilly on top of Lord Hereford's Knob Tonight he'll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford's Knob All of our songs sound the same Tonight he'll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford's Knob I'm keeping Two Chevrons Apart Tonight he'll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford's Knob You're the reason why paradise lost Tonight he'll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford's Knob