Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris... lyrics

One way system – smooth and commendable Go by bus – they're highly dependable The swings in the park for the kids have won awards The clean streets acknowledged in the Lords But what's a park if you can't see a linnet? A timetable if your journey's infinite? My bag's packed and I'm leaving in a minute For what is Chatteris without you in it? Car crime's low, the gun crime's lower The town hall band CD, it's a grower You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce Although there was a drive-by shouting once But there's a bra** band everywhere And I don't drive, so I don't care And as a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square What's Chatteris if you're not there? Like a game-bird reserve short on pheasants Weavers' cottages devoid of tenants A market town that lacks quintessence That's Chatteris without your presence Three good butchers, two fine chandlers An indoor pool and a first cla** cake shop Ofsted plaudits, envy of the Fens Prick barriers at both ends But what's Chatteris if you're not there? What's Chatteris if you're not there? What's Chatteris if you're not there? What's Chatteris if you're not there? What's Chatteris if you're not there? What's Chatteris if you're not there? I may as well be in Ely or St.Ives…