Half Man Half Biscuit - Bogus Official lyrics

I'm the man that you need on the day that it rains I'm the wiser advisor on capital gains I'm the lowlife pretending to look at your drains I'm a bogus official Don't let me in I'm the police, I'm the clergy, I'm Measures and Weights I'm the chap doing the survey on alley gates I need to know where you'll be on the following dates 'Cos I'm a bogus official Nice dress Courteous, friendly, jolly, and fat With a smile saying, "Look, I know it's under the mat I don't give a f** about your missing cat" B-O-G-U-S official