I thought I'd make a living off of mason jars In case I fail at something that's from the heart CHORUS But I found out it was only worth like three bucks and there are no returns so I'm kind of stuck So I just stuck it on the shelf right there And I fill it with the whiskers that I pick up I thought I'd make a living on the Price Is Right But you know I could never afford the flight Besides, what, just to play the game I mean besides they'd probably never say my name REPEAT CHORUS I thought I'd make a living on the Mega Millions but I only got one number right And I had to go to three gas stations at eleven o'clock at night REPEAT CHORUS And they'll bring me luck