Here's a story about a bloke named Jerry Got slaughtered then got real lairy In the club he acted absurd Then came on to a boxers bird So he got knocked out His face swelled up like a rainbow trout His girl found out the truth But he couldn't explain 'cause he lost a tooth I wanna drink, drink, drink, smoke, f**, fight I wanna shout and scream, I wanna die I wanna be arrested, I wanna be molested And I've damaged my brain Next weekend let's do it again An anecdote 'bout a man named Clive Wasn't one to usually drink drive But after all he'd been for a snack His local's a bit far to walk back A month later and he's sitting in court For the two lives he cut short Man slaughter he's convicted For the pain that he inflicted Spinning, my head is spinning up around, around And down to the pub, on to the club My stomach's turning, oh, my body's burning Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive Here's a story about a chap named Garth Drank 4 pints in hour and a half Though the night had just begun 'Cause his local pub was open till one The next morning out in the country Hung over and on the hunt he Was still drunk and pissed himself Fell off his horse and shot himself! Spinning, my head is spinning up around, around And down to the pub, on to the club My stomach's turning, oh, my body's burning Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive Come on drink, come on drink, come on drink Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Drink, smoke, f**, fight Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Our liquid lives This is how we all survive Here's a story about a girl named Kate Got wasted then got date raped When they told the doctors she'd seen They found no chemicals was in her bloodstream ''Well nothing malicious but the alcohol levels were suspicious'' When asked who had hurt her, poor old Kate couldn't remember Spinning, my head is spinning up around, around And down to the pub, on to the club My stomach's turning, oh, my body's burning Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive Drink, smoke, f**, fight Our liquid lives Our liquid lives Our liquid lives This is how we all survive