Gwar - Vlad The Impaler lyrics

[Chorus:] Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a Whaler could have been a Tailor, He turned out to be Norman Mailer Whoaaoo He stepped back and he smoked a joint Twenty thousand peasants had to get the point Mommy was a hamster, Daddy was a jailer Real tough childhood for such a f**ing failure [chorus] He's so glad he's Vlad When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks But you know they didn't like him because all the Turks were jerks When Vlad returned home his wrath for his ancient foe had spurned But the ancient art of impalement was something that the boy had learned Oh, how he learned He learned, they burned and burned and burned Rotisseries of corpses turned He's so glad, oh he's so glad he's Vlad