Gutterball - Cheaper by the Pound lyrics

Last thing I remember Was laughter from a joke That I didn't think was funny Today there's only pain Where my memory should be And nothing where I used to keep my money They say I started a fight With a man in black tights They say today he looks worse than I do They say his brother has connections With witness protection And I'm wondering who I have to lie to I'm always At least one step away From solid ground Success is finer But I find failure Is cheaper by the pound There's a woman on the phone Calling from the danger zone For the St Louis Post Dispatch She says she wants my opinion Of the 27 million And I'm wondering, "what's the catch?" Let me tell you about a friend I met His name is Chet I met him on my journey He said he lost his breath He lost his cigarettes But he retained his power of attorney