Groucho Marx - Polish Officer Story lyrics

Spoken: When I was over in London, some years ago, I did a quizshow over there for a while. It wasn't too succesful, but the...eh...the American amba**ador, he liked me, because I used to be funny and crack jokes. Jackie Ona**is' sister, Radziwill, you may have seen her, she's been on TV a few times. She's a very pretty girl, and she had a husband, who was Polish. He was well over four feet, and I told him a story. This is the story: It's about a hooker. You all know what that is, I guess. I'm sure that sometime in your life, somebody has seen one. It was a story about a girl who picks up a Pole, and takes him home, and feeds him, gets him dinner. They go to bed that night, have a great time. Next morning she helps him get dressed, puts on his uniform with his big epaulets hanging on, and he starts to leave. Then she says "Just a monment, what about money?", and he says "A Polish officer doesn't accept money."