Groucho Marx - Laws Of The Administration lyrics

Spoken: Lady: If it's not asking too much, Sung: For our information Just for illustration Tell us how you intend to run the nation Rufus T. Firefly: These are the laws of my administration No one's allowed to smoke Or tell a dirty joke And whistling is forbidden Chorus: We're not allowed to tell a dirty joke Hail, hail Freedonia Rufus: If chewing gum is chewed The chewer is pursued And in the hoosegow hidden Chorus: If we choose to chew we'll be pursued Rufus: If any form of pleasure is exhibited Report to me and it will be prohibited I'll put my foot down, so shall it be This is the land of the free The last man nearly ruined this place He didn't know what to do with it If you think this country's bad off now, Just wait 'til I get through with it The country's taxes must be fixed And I know what to do with it If you think you're paying too much now Just wait till I get through with it *Whistle* I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair I'm strictly on the up-and-up, so everyone beware If any man's caught taking graft, and I don't get my share We stand him up against the wall and pop! Goes the weasel Chorus: So everyone beware, you're stricken or unfair -------unless he gets his share Rufus: If any man should come between a husband and his bride We'll find out which one she prefers by letting her decide If she prefers the other man, the husband steps outside We stand him up against the wall and pop! Goes the weasel Chorus: The husband steps outside, relinquishes his bride They stand him up against the wall and take him for a ride.