Gripp - Suicidal Thoughts lyrics

It's 3:12 AM and I can't sleep Again I don't know I don't do happy, only distracted And lately even that has been feeling much less attractive Compiler blank, rhyme book empty, I'm out of practice Now I skip the mattress and crash on the couch trashed Like I'm trapped. I'm morphing. To trigger the same endorphins I'm guzzling by the quart all these foreign aids, watching p**n Three in the morning 'til the coroner rolls my corpse in The torment? It's boring. Rehashing the same performance I need some oxygen, but I take a shot of gin I'll never stop the spin until I could stop tossing lots of them back I feel the impact, feel the way my ribs crack When the demons push between the cage and break the skin like gift wrap They're parasitic so I sleep with the garish image Of a glinting kitchen knife, jabbing me through the larynx with it Blowing out my brains from behind, saying goodbye Watching the angels just fly, flame in their eyes But since there'e no other side, I might as well Stay and go for the ride, reproachful and hopeless Take a deep breath. Open my eyes Let the motion subside This apartment is so small that it's choking me Don't feel like I'm supposed to be broken, but it's how I know to be Self-loathing openly; self-destructive in private Trying to push to the side all these violent thoughts in my mind and It's a good thing that no god ever existed 'cos this is the kind of night that I would have to pay him a visit But I'm not ready to cross the schism, not that twisted But even the proposition seems and enticing decision And I can't wait. Because the day will come when I finally say, "Enough" And so much has been stripped away that I'll never make it up I fantasize about the ways that they will find me laid With a new face that's oddly-shaped and exit wound body paint I see my brains raining confetti out the front of my face Like pinata candy. My thoughts are such treats Let me give you a piece of my mind Sometimes I Just feel like I've been dropped off In some other guy's body And he's got this job And all these friends And these fans and these shows And I don't know what to do It doesn't make any sense So I just—I don't know— I keep going to his job And I keep talking to his friends And I keep putting on his shows And everybody just—I don't know— They just keep clapping They keep applauding me Like I'm that guy I just want to make them stop it Just stop No. Stop Stop! Sto—