Grime - The Lonliest Number lyrics

I come from troubled times My minds all f**ed up Two personalties and they both live double lives I put pen to paper and I come up with some rhymes And I can front like my life is all ugly and fine But inside I'm a wreck and it gets rough sometimes It's been a while since I've been loved and it s**s some times So I get drunk and shut it all up inside And pretend to be a man, like the other guys, but I'm a misfit Really I've always been different And this sh** gets sicker anything is twisted I latch onto girls, because I'm scared they'll leave Like my moms left my pops, like my girl left me So I'm insecure with every girl I meet Some think its sweet, most think it's immature and weak So I feel uncertain when it's my turn to speak So instead of trying to meet you I'll just finish this drink Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do To that all white school every day I go And get called a spik and a n***a on the way back home So I never gave a damn that my grades were always low And the girls said I was dirty cuz' I wear the same clothes So when I try flirting they would always say no It's the same old story of my life being told Because the girls like to chase the boys on the playground And nothings changed; it's still the same game now I'm like that a**hole that don't remember your name So you don't remember me, so I guess we'll never be You looking for job, but that just isn't me, so when he treats you wrong I got no sympathy, I'm sick of playing games; it's weighing on my brain I gotta drink myself to sleep to take away the pain This self-conscious bullsh**s making my insane Listening to the rain on my window paint Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Look, I've been shot down too many times And now I'm shaking If I get hurt again, I don't know how I'll take it I'd rather play it safe, and save myself some pace I don't ever wanna feel like, how I felt that day There's only one woman for me, end of story And she's gone now, so I guess I'll end up lonely Cuz these other girls phoney and don't even know me I'd rather be alone with this bottle to consume me I'm looking for a sole base, someone to have my son But my boy told me, girls just wanna have fun That's why he never calls them back after he's done But she's still the only one don't front I'll probably never understand that, so ill just stand back And watch another victim fall in that sand trap f** it, if that's what you want, then have that I'll probably still be here when you come back, sh** Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Lonely is the loneliest number that you'll ever do