Grieves - Faded lyrics

Where the hell have I gone to Why's it got to be so motherf**ing hard for me to call you Staying up late trying to get it all straight Every minute I've wasted You were probably thinking I don't want to That ain't the case 15 years and that ain't the case Bad as it tastes I'm the one to blame for putting up all the walls and demanding the space And I just can't take it these days So far out Want to bring it home but I don't know how Yeah man I don't know how Family could be something I don't know 'bout And I pushed you that far cause I got scared Would've been hell but I could've said prayers Should've been there And it's not okay That your name is one thing I don't know how to say Faded Looking for the words that I could use to get to you Don't know how to say it, faded Hopefully it's getting through Cause everything is faded Looking for the words I don't know how to say it, faded Hopefully it's getting through Because everything is, faded Where the hell did you go to Why'd you make it so motherf**ing impossible to go through Running on fumes Trying to follow your tune We were running around in circles To the point that it was dangerous to know you I could've reached out 15 years and I should've reached out But I couldn't find the person I was looking for Even if I did I was scared that you would have been underneath in the ground And I ran from that Ran from that Too damn scared to take a chance with that So the bogs got packed Blood got cold Names got changed and your kids got grown Grown Looking at the phone with a broken heart Trying to keep a piece of what fell apart Dark night and it's not okay That your names one thing that I don't know how to say Faded Looking for the words that I could use to get to you Don't know how to say it, faded Hopefully it's getting through Cause everything is faded Looking for the words I don't know how to say it, faded Hopefully it's getting through Because everything is, faded