[Verse 1] I like apple pie And you like banoffee We both love shopping for furniture And meeting for coffee We pretend we're into art galleries 'Cause it makes us feel clever We're both in our element when we're on our knees Whatever the weather [Chorus] I could be your f*g hag And you could be my gay I'll never make you feel sad When you come out to play I could be your f*g hag And you could be my gay I'll never make you feel sad When you come out to play [Verse 2] We don't give a f** What people are thinking I know you'll always look out for me When we go out drinking I can ask you things I can't ask anyone And you'll give me direction Apart from me, you're the only other person I know Who reads the travel section [Chorus x2] I could be your f*g hag And you could be my gay I'll never make you feel sad When you come out to play I could be your f*g hag And you could be my gay I'll never make you feel sad When you come out to play