Lockstock If there's one thing I've learned in my many years of enforcing the laws Of this city, it's that the journey down to Urinetown offers no Surprises. Not even from the very toughest amongst us. On that journey Expect only the expected It's a hard, cold, tumble of a journey Worthy of a gurney, a bumble down A slapped face, smacked with a mace Certain to debase is our stumble down It's a path that leads you only one place Horrible to retrace, a crumble down A hard, cold, tumble of a tourney Jumble of a journey to Urinetown Lockstock and Barrel Julie Ca**idy Went to a field behind a tree Saw there was no one who could see Lockstock Her pee - Barrel Lockstock and Barrel And Jacob Rosenblum Thought he was safe up in his room Didn't know the jars he kept up there Would obligate a trip to Urine-tomb! Lockstock There are those who think our Methods vicious - Barrel Overly malicious - Lockstock A bunch of brutes, but it's we who Gather for the people - Barrel Tavern to the steeple - Lockstock Lawful fruits! Our task: bring a little order - Barrel Swindle out a hoarder - Lockstock From what he loots, as the book says "Certainly a season" - Barrel Trample out a treason - All With hobnail boots! Roger Roosevelt Kept a cup below his belt Cup ran over when he knelt Lockstock He smelt - Barrel We dealt! All And Joseph "Old Man" Strong Held his pee for much too long Hoped his son might bail him out His guess was good but also wrong! Lockstock Years past all lived in a jungle Scooping out a bungle, nature's bowl Life of constant deprivation Certain aggravation took its toll Soon learned power of the truncheon Organize a function king to pawn So if peace is what you're after Urinetown's the rafter to hang it on! Girl Cop 1 Julie Ca**idy - Boy Cop 1 Jacob Rosenbloom - Boy Cop 2 Roger Roosevelt - Boy Cop 1 Jacob Rosenbloom - Girl Cop 1 Julie Ca**idy - Boy Cop 3 Joseph Old Man Strong - Lockstock and Barrel Don't be like them! Don't be like them! Lockstock It's a hard, cold Tumble of a journey Worthy of a gurney A bumble down A slapped face Smacked with a mace Certain to debase Is our stumble down Female Cops It's a hard, cold Tumble of a journey Worthy of a gurney A bumble down A slapped face Smacked with a mace Certain to debase Male Cops It's a hard, cold Tumble of a journey Worthy of a gurney A bumble down A slapped face Smacked with a mace All It's a path that leads you only one place Horrible to retrace, a crumble down A hard, cold, tumble of a tourney Jumble of a journey to Urinetown!