Grand Buffet - Nate Kukla's History of Lemonade lyrics

[Intro] Yee-ha! [Verse 1, rap: Jackson] Party people in a potentially powerful place Before the hour-hand is pointing at the eight on the clock face We gotta gather together and ready a plan On how to formulate a lucrative lemonade stand In your adolescent years you had a hand-painted sign With sloppy lettering that offered lemonade for a dime You were a little entrepreneur, your parents thought it was cute And all the opportunists in the neighborhood followed suit You profited then, off of the acid of youth But now you're twenty-eight years old and long in the tooth You think a lemon slice and sugar water's gonna suffice? You need a motto, image bravado, you got to entice I'm no slouch I took a Home Economics cla** So I'll elaborate on lemonade's illustrious past [Verse 2, rap: Jackson] Good Friday the third, thirty-three A.D The day God's son was hammered to a lower-cased 'T' It wasn't all that grim based on historical truth 'cause thirty feet away from Jesus was a beverage booth With an a**ortment of food, wine and grain ale And ice water for the kids but the water was stale The twelve apostles observed this dilemma, they were concerned Matthew exited the gathering and quickly returned With a ripened bag of lemons reserved for the purpose Of treating his syphilis lesions that were starting to surface He said, "We'll drain these lemons for the juice and pulp "And add it to the stagnant water for a pleasant result" Judas reached into his robe and shamefully revealed A bottle of honey he'd stole from last night's meal He said "This is what Jesus used to eat with his bread "And I'd return it to the guy but he's basically dead "So let's add it to the lemon and water to sweeten the mix "And move the refreshment table closer to the crucifix." Needless to say, they made a k**ing that day The Romans wanted the recipe and for it they handsomely payed So everybody profited and felt refreshed... [spoken: Jared] ...but what happened to Jesus?