Graham Parker - I Discovered America lyrics

There was smoke up to my eyeballs Poison burned my throat But i said i'd keep on going When everyone said don't With my bony-chested t-shirt Some stolen guitar licks Navigating by dead reckoning In 1976 And when the mighty chains of darkness Had me on the ropes Everyone said quit now That's when i found hope So please don't tell columbus Don't tell his queen for sure That i had the accurate compa** And i discovered America Well the guy in the five and dime store Said it ain't anywhere around here Take your business elsewhere Along with your mad idea So i looked inside your closet And your broken tv set You said that you were born here But you hadn't found it yet So please don't tell columbus Don't tell his queen for sure That i had the accurate compa** And i discovered America Well i knew one day she'd let me in I knew i'd get the girl And live in a town called veteran Pork capitol of the world So please don't tell columbus Don't tell his queen for sure That i had the accurate compa** And i discovered America Well they've dammed the yangtse river damn it There'll be hell to pay But i guess that's what you do When the yangtse river gets in your way But i had that positive feeling I knew i was on the right track When a flat earth society member Told me i must turn back He said i'd reach the abyss And keep on going down So i gave him my last pencil And i flattened him to the ground Then an army of christian soldiers Broke through the ranks and charged With their ice cream vendor buddies And their milquetoast rearguard They had wheelbarrows full of elastic And paper mache hearts And things i did not recognize Impaled upon their darts And when the mighty chains of darkness Had me on the ropes Everyone said quit now That's when i found hope Yeah that's when i found hope So please don't tell columbus Don't tell his queen for sure That i had the accurate compa** And i discovered America