No more pretending now, the albatross is dying in its nest The company is crippling me, the worst trying to ruin the best, the best Their promotion's so lame They could never ever take it to the real ball game Maybe they think I'm a pet Well I've got all the diseases I'm breaking out in sweat, you bet, because I got, Mercury poisoning It's fatal and it don't get better I got, Mercury poisoning The best kept secret in the west The boys and me are getting real well known around town But every time we try to spread the action Someone always brings it down, down I ate the orange and I don't feel well For them it's inconvenience for me it's hell The geriatric staff think we're freaks They couldn't sell kebabs to the Greeks, the geeks Inaction speaks, and I got, Mercury poisoning It's fatal and it don't get better I got, Mercury poisoning The best kept secret in the west Is this a Russian conspiracy, no it's just idiocy Is this a Chinese burn I gotta a dinosaur for a representative It's got a small brain and refuses to learn Their promotion's so lame They could never ever take it to the real ball game Listen I ain't a pet I aint a token hipster, in your monopoly set You bet because I got, Mercury poisoning It's fatal and it don't get better I got, Mercury poisoning The best kept secret in the west He's got, Mercury poisoning It's fatal and it don't get better He's got, Mercury poisoning The best kept secret in the west Yeah the best kept secret in the west The best kept secret in the west