Why, oh why, oh why, oh -- Why did i ever leave Ohio? Why did i wander to find what lies yonder When life was so cozy at home? Wondering while i wander Why did i fly? Why did i roam? Oh, why oh, why oh Did i leave Ohio? Maybe I'd better go Home O -- h -- i -- o Maybe I'd better go home Well mother this song still doesn't explain Why you abandoned your children Ohio was stifling We couldn't wait to get out of the place And I told you, Sue "We're going to be hunting Nazis" And Pop said, "Sue this might take a little while" Well those Nazis are slippery And me hunting them down in Lima, Peru And we'd get postcards from Niagara Falls While I'm stalking Mangala in Boluvene Malls Three times a year we'd get crackling phone calls Happy birthday Hunting Nazis Merry Christmas Hunting Nazis Homesick Abandoned Heartsick Neglected Thank heavens we're free! Why, oh why, oh why, oh -- Why did we ever leave Ohio?! Wondering while we wander Why did we fly? Why did we roam? Oh, why oh, why oh Did we leave Ohio? Maybe we'd better go Home O -- h -- i -- o Maybe we'd better go home