Gla** Hammer - No Crown for Balin lyrics

Balin Longbeard was his name A Dwarf of great renown was he This rude and nasty Dwarf of fame ‘Twas never known for courtesy While making wind in crowded rooms His nose ran constantly And all good folk found Balin lacked A single trace of modesty But Balin was a rich old thing As many famous bards are known to sing Though Balin wanted to be king The Dwarven folk would never hear of it In fact they showed a fear of it And sensible were they! Never mind the Orcs he'd slain All his victories were in vain He'd even k**ed a Troll or two But a Dwarven crown he ne'er could gain For Balin was a nasty sort The people all could smell him This vile old gent would not relent For none of them would tell him But Balin was a rich old thing As many famous bards are known to sing Though Balin wanted to be king The Dwarven folk would never hear of it In fact they showed a fear of it And sensible were they! If he would only take a bath Then the Dwarves might ease their wrath He filled the tub, they gathered round They had to see the aftermath So bad he smelt the soap did melt The filth would not come off him He turned the water black as mud And so the Dwarves did scoff at him But Balin was a rich old thing As many famous bards are known to sing Though Balin wanted to be king The Dwarven folk would never hear of it In fact they showed a fear of it And sensible were they!