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[KO-KO] The criminal cried, as he dropped him down In a state of wild alarm - With a frightful, frantic, fearful frown I bared my big right arm I seized him by his little pig-tail And on his knees fell he As he squirmed and struggled And gurgled and guggled I drew my snickersnee My snickersnee! Oh, never shall I Forget the cry Or the shriek that shrieked he As I gnashed my teeth When from its sheath I drew my snickersnee! [Chorus] We know him well He cannot tell Untrue or groundless tales — He always tries To utter lies And every time he fails [PITTI-SING] He shivered and shook as he gave the sign For the stroke he didn't deserve; When all of a sudden his eye met mine And it seemed to brace his nerve; For he nodded his head and kissed his hand And he whistled an air, did he As the sabre true Cut cleanly through His cervical vertebrae His vertebrae! When a man's afraid A beautiful maid Is a cheering sight to see; And it's oh, I'm glad That moment sad Was soothed by sight of me! [Chorus] Her terrible tale You can't a**ail With truth it quite agrees: Her taste exact For faultless fact Amounts to a disease [POOH-BAH] Now though you'd have said that head was dead (For its owner dead was he) It stood on its neck, with a smile well-bred And bowed three times to me! It was none of your impudent off-hand nods But as humble as could be; For it clearly knew The deference due To a man of pedigree Of pedigree! And it's oh, I vow This d**hly bow Was a touching sight to see; Though trunkless, yet It couldn't forget The deference due to me! [Chorus] This haughty youth He speaks the truth Whenever he finds it pays: And in this case It all took place Exactly as he says! Exactly, exactly, exactly Exactly as he says!