[Jeremy] C-c-c c'mon c-c-c- c'mon, go go C-c-c c'mon c-c-c- c'mon, go go I'm waiting for my p**no to load My brain is gonna freakin' explode And now of course it's time to hit the road Which means I'll be uncomfortable all day But that really isn't such a change If I'm not feeling weird or super strange My life would be in utter disarray 'Cause freaking out is my okay Good morning time to start the day! C-c-c c'mon c-c-c c'mon Go go C-c-c c'mon c-c-c c'mon Go go Should I take a bus or walk instead I feel my stomach filling up with dread When I get nervous my whole face goes red To weigh the options calmly and be still The junior on the bus is k**er weak But if I walk when I arrive I'm gonna straight up reak And my boxers will be bunchy and my pits will leak Ugh, God, I wish I had the sk** To just be fine and cool and chill I don't wanna be a hero Just wanna stay in the line I'll never be your Rob DeNiro For me Joe Pesci is fine So I follow my own rules And I use them as my tools To stay alive I don't wanna be special, no, no I just wanna survive [Company] C-c-c c'mon c-c-c c'mon Go go C-c-c c'mon c-c-c c'mon Go go [Chloe] So Jenna Roland said Madeline told Jake I'll only have s** with you if you beat me at pool And then she lost at pool Deliberately [Brooke] That is so awesome [Chloe] Brooke! [Brooke] I mean s*utty [Jenna] And then Madeline was all like- [Chloe] I'M TELLING THE STORY JENNA! Oh my God, he's like totally getting off on that Ugh [Rich] Yo, don't touch me, tall a**! [Jeremy] Sorry, I was just trying to get to- [Rich] Jakey D! So what's the story with Madeline? [Jake] Oh man, I shouldn't say But it's a good thing I rock at pool [Jeremy] I navigate the dangerous hall Focus on a poster there on the wall Avoiding any eye contact at all And trying hard to remain unseen The poster's closer now, what does it say? It's a sign-up for the afterschool play It's a sign-up sheet for getting called gay And that's not what I need right now And seen I hang a left and there's Christine Christine Christine Christine Caniglia Christine [Christine] Did you say something? [Jeremy] Uh... Well, that was smooth Yeah, that was super pimp My mac daddy game couldn't be more limp No time to wollow No, instead, just clear your brain and move ahead Accept that your'e one of those guys Who'll be a virgin 'til he dies I don't wanna be a baller Just want some sk**s to count on If my nuts were any smaller They would be totally gone If I continue at thIs rate The only thing I'll ever date Is my MacBook Pro harddrive I don't wanna be Clooney, no, no I just wanna survive Michael! [Michael] Jeremy, my buddy How's it hanging Lunch is banging, had my sushi Got my slushie and more The roll was meki maki and I'm feeling kinda co*ky 'Cause that girl at Sev' Elev' gave me a generous pour [Jeremy] You're listening to Bob Marley again, aren't you? [Michael] Oh, I'm listening to Marley And the groove is sounding gnarly And we're almost at the end of this song Yeah, that was the end Now tell me friend How was cla**? You look like a** What's wrong? [Jeremy] i wrote Christine a letter telling her how I feel [Michael] That's progress! [Jeremy] yeah i tore it up and flushed it [Michael] oh... [Jeremy] its still progress! [Michael] its all good i saw on discovery that humanity has stopped evolving [Jeremy] that's good? [Michael] evolution is survival of the fittest, right? but now because of technology you dont have to be strong to survive which means theres never been a better time in history to be a loser! ha so own it! why try to be cool when you could be... [Jeremy] signing up for the play! [Michael] I was gonna say getting stoned in my basement [Jeremy] no! i mean look who's signing up for the play christineeeeee christineeeeee [Jeremy and Michael] christineeeeee christineeee conicula [Company] christineeeeee christineeeeee christineeeeee christineeeeee christine conicula christineeeee conicula [Jeremy] i feel my body moving through the air see my converse walking over there take a shaky breath and i prepare who cares if people think im lame christine signed ill do the same i grabbed the pen i write my name [Rich} [Company] GAYYYYYY HAHAHAHHAHA Laughter [Chloe] i like gay people [Jeremy] im never gonna be the cool guy im more the one whos left out oh all the characters at school i am not the one who the story's about whyyyy cant someone just help me out am teach me how to thrive help me to more than surviveeee [Company] na na na na na na na na na more than surviveeeeeee na na na na na na na na na more than survivveeeeeee na na na na na na na na na [Jeremy cont'd] if this was an acpocolypse i would not need any tips in how to stay alive but since the zombie army's yet to decsend and the period is going to end im just trying my best to pa** the test and surviveeeeeee [Company] cccccmon cccmon survivvveeeeeee cccmon cccmon go go [Company] go go go go go go go go goooo GO