Georg Kreisler - My Psychoanalyst Is an Idiot lyrics

Jarvis, scratch my back again And pour another Rye! If things continue on like this I'm surely going to die Business is falling off, you know And prices getting horrider I hardly have sufficient funds To pay for a short stay in Florida And after all, a bank account Can only pay your way But nonetheless, with all my woes I'd still be toujours gay And forget about my troubles That I have ad infinitum Oh, I could stand it all If it were not for one small item: My psychoan*lyst is an idiot The fellow has no feelings for my woes He asks about my childhood days And certain of my childhood ways But why I'm so distressed, he never knows My psychoan*lyst is an idiot Who never fails to get me all upset He makes me count from one to ten And than from ten to one again Then feels my nose, to see if it is wet There's one thing that I must admit Regarding this affair: an*lysis has taught me things I never knew were there I struggle now with concepts That some genius invented Neurosis and psychosis Have me morbid and demented I'm serious, delirious I'm almost schizophrenic I'm notional, emotional And highly neurasthenic My libido gets torpedoed Every hour and at length More perversions than the Persians' Keep on eating at my strength I enjoy a paranoia That is simply homicidal Self-expression and aggression Just refuse to leave me idle I sit back at my haunches While he tears at my subconscious And he combs my super-ego While I watch another fee go He slams my ideology With never an apology And psychoan*lytically He handles me quite critically He dresses me, undresses me And measures my reactions He badgers me unnaturally And tears my soul to fractions He feels my head, he slaps my face He hits me on the knee He gives me tests, he draws my blood Than wants another fee He pulls my ear, he tears my hair He throws me on the bed He pokes me ribs, he tabs my chest And stands me on my head And when he's through investigating Depredating, irrigating Desecrating, contemplating Irritating, estimating Lacerating, iterating Mediating, meditating Aggravating, ennervating Overrating, underrating And when he's got me fluidized And alkalized and brutalized And victimized and an*lyzed And oversized and undersized And ionized and mechanized And totally demoralized And when he's almost murdered me In manner quite informal He rubs his forehead thoughtfully And says: "I think you'r normal!"