Gemini Eye - Lagrange Points (Between i. Obsession And Resentment, ii. Overthinking And Not Thinking At All) lyrics

If by my will and will alone Through some organic force untold Hydrangeas, bridges, bricks and bone Would unify from distant tone To solid sculpted gold My talents noticed in the park A twig I gild to pa** the time And elevated fast and stark From oddity to work of art Seraphic and sublime This obsession's got a hold on me Families competing on TV For a 32” LCD On a show I'm hosting for a fee And I'm getting pretty weary of the gold lamé Is this the kind of person people really look up to today? Is it too late cause I wanna think twice Put the golden mausoleum on ice And call up Oprah and inform her that I can't attend I'm gonna hide away where nobody will find me again Hear people tapping At the window They're tryna take away my handles and keys Good luck when this economy's destabilization Is all down to me I wish that I could Pull the gloves off I coulda been somebody don't you agree? Aren't I just the sort of freak who makes a million prancing around on TV? But then I'm sure I'd grow to hate That too, I guess I need to find A middle I could tolerate But that seems far too complicated For my tiny mind Is that what people do all day Live conscious calculated lives Or think about it less than I? Perhaps the thing I need to try Is turning off my mind You're idling By the cenotaph And it's obvious The thing to do You bend And pet a pigeon And it stays Unafraid Of your body Emanating Not a thought Does having a thought cement the thought permanently and is it de-haveable? Is there a way to control forgetting to a reliable extent or is that just suppression? I feel a deep spiritual weight on me, the rules of it seem to have been given some kind of ergonomic logic by some thinking force, otherwise I'd have turned my whole body to metal the first time I washed myself. And when was that? Why did it start when it did? What event in my life triggered this thing? And does the power wane as I get older? Am I going to become weaker at this? Why am I afraid of that, isn't that exactly what I want? Has this become so fundamentally a part of me that to lose it would be to lose myself? Would I mourn the loss of the thing I most despise? This afternoon I discovered if I was thinking really hard about it I could transform both an object and another object touching it. When I walk barefoot outside I leave golden footprints embedded in the ground and you can chart how anxious I am by excavating them and measuring how deeply they penetrate the earth beneath me. Is this what it's like to be a god of some kind? Am I being blessed or punished? Why do I even examine it using such a basic moral dichotomy, why would I imbue fate and the universe with human characteristics when it treats us so inhumanely? There's no logic to it, and the structures we create are entirely artificial. But even by that metric, am I better than other people? Or am I lesser? Why do I keep falling into the same moral dichotomy as before? Isn't that an innately human action that proves I'm not some sort of other being? Sometimes I brush past objects and they don't get transformed, is it possible that if I were rigorous enough with myself I'd be able to turn it on and off? Is intention the same as want? Is there any way to separate my conscious thoughts from my actions? Is there any way of preventing that from being a total mess? Is there any way this could k** me? Will it end my life somehow one day? Has it already?