Garrison Keillor - Alaska Cats by Garrison Keillor lyrics

Alaska cats don't take no crap They don't sit in no one's lap They don't let you brush their fur Or have cute names like Gulliver They mumble but they seldom purr Alaska cats are three feet tall They drink beer and play pinball And you may notice when they call They don't wash themselves at all - Just once in the spring and once in the fall Alaska cats are always dressed In jeans and boots and outdoor vest It's not stuffed with eiderdown But hair from dogs around the town - Some black, some brown Once a year to hold off famine They jump in the boats and they fish for salmon Slap those big fish with their paws Catch 'em, bone 'em, and then toss 'Em in a pan with catsup sauce Alaska cats chew catnip snoose And spit about anywhere they choose The freest cat you ever saw They have no owners, no leash law - They laugh at pet cats Ha, Ha - Ha, Ha - Ha, Ha --- .