Garfunkel And Oates - Google lyrics

The sky isn't blue, and the ocean's not grand And string theory is easy to understand The gra** isn't green, and the sun isn't bright Healthcare will be resolved overnight The world isn't round, and the Buddha's not Zen And we both have really good taste in men And there really is a Black Forest land Where everyone gets all their ham... And I swear, I f**in' swear I didn't Google you... Okay, I did, I admit it It was so easy to do 7,008 results And I know everything about you You're not a s** offender But you failed home ec in 1997 It really isn't that weird Come on, we're all adults here... Everybody Googles each other Everybody does their Facebook research It's how we get to know one another To make sure that we don't get raped. I don't have any mental disorder And I don't spend my weekends watching "Law & Order" It takes forever to get in my pants This old-fashioned girl likes romance I am not fearful of being alone And Zack Morris had a really small phone Ring ring ring r-ring ring r-ring ring Cell phones in the '80s... And I swear, sh** f**in' swear I didn't Google you... Okay, I did, I admit it And I know that you Googled me too How else would you have known That my dog contracted herpes? Sing it again, 'cause this melody Feels really good to sing Stop pretending it's taboo Like masturbation in the '50s... Everybody Googles each other Everybody does their Facebook research It's how we get to know one another To make sure that you're not in p**n. I do not mean to be jealous already But who is that girl in those pictures? She's pretty I think you may have dated her Or maybe she's your lesbian friend I see that you got really drunk on your birthday Was it sadness-related, or were you just thirsty? I do not mean to make judgments now But if we date, some things will have to change... Everybody Googles each other Everybody does their Facebook research It's how we get to know one another To make sure that you don't have cats