Gaelic Storm - The Dodgy Pint lyrics

Well last Saturday it was me and the lads went on the tear Dressed up to the nines looking suave and debonair Down to the city center for a mighty night o' fun There were colleens to be charmed, There was scoopin' to be done Well, somehow in the night I got looped out of me gourd Feeling weak n' woozy, sick as a plane to Lourdes Me legs were getting wobbly, me head began to swim Everything went blurry and the room began to spin And the room began to spin Well the floor crept up behind me and gave me a mighty smack I was staring at the ceiling like a turtle on me back "I meant to do that!" I exclaimed trying to keep me cool But I was speaking foreign languages and drooling like a fool So I crawled off on all fours like a mangy rabid dog To find the porcelain phone and have a talk with God Now understand t'was not the boozin' that made me feel unwell It was obvious to all I'd had some tainted alcohol I'd had some tainted alcohol Chorus: T'was not the one at "O'Brien's" I'll tell you for sure Or the 'ould County Clare, that's an excellent pour! The shot down at "Guero's" of Jose Cuervero Or the tonic and gin at "The Odd Fellows Inn" T'was not the lager with curry Or the doner kebab I ate coming home in the back of the cab The blue margarita, down at "The Blue Peter" The pink mind eraser, the ale with the chaser The Old Spotted Cow that I drank at "The Plough" Now that one I recall nearly started a brawl Yes that tenth one I had, that one must have been bad The last one of the night, t'was the ould dodgy pint (Chorus) Well I awoke in pain n' sufferin' not a clue how I got home When me sight began to clear I saw that I was not alone A bagpiper inside me head was playin' a dreadful tune A goat was fast asleep in the corner of me room A halfway eaten thing, I tink, it was a pickled egg Was squished inside me trouser pocket dripping down me leg There was a stop sign in the toilet, undies hangin' from the light "Oh No!" I said unto meself "God damn that dodgy pint God damn that dodgy pint" So take this as a warning all you revelers young and old Learn your lesson well from this story you've been told If you wake up pale and sickly fully clothed inside your bed Your stomach all in pieces feeling slightly like you're dead It's not a vampire chupacabra or demonic wizard's spell No witch's curse or potion condemned you to this hell No my friends its something worse that's left you in this plight You've been the latest victim of another dodgy pint Of another dodgy pint!