Betty Botter bought a bottle of bitters from the bar Major Matt, he mixed his mild martinis in a jar This doggerel is my private hell These words whose meanings never gel I'm gonna find you wherever you are Never trust a man without a horror story Eros, the rose and the sore The hearts of Boston lie for me The hearts of Boston have a hurricane to answer for If I started walking I'd be almost there by now I'm on the world stage From the Tel Aviv swamp to the deserts of New Orleans You can't read your lines if you can't find your page In my rage and shame I cursed Bad god, no offerings I'm a magi with bad apologies No scented candles, no shiny things Never trust a man without a horror story Eros, the rose and the sore The hearts of Boston, they lie for me The hearts of Boston have a hurricane to answer for Life never labels, the last time you do something I swear, I can always do more I've taken enough charity already And the last thing I need is once more to lose something I drove to your door in a dusty Honda Or an orange Saab or an Austrian Mazda I don't mind being wrong as long as long as no-one else is right The hopes and fears of all the years are here with us tonight Never trust a man without a horror story Eros, the rose and the sore The hearts of Boston, they cry for me The hearts of Boston have a hurricane to answer for Life never labels the last time you do something I swear, I can always do more I've taken enough of your charity already And the last thing I need is once more to lose something It was action-packed in the cul-de-sac The dust blew forward and the dust blew back You and I were under attack With a parachute bag for a burlap sack 'Cause you required some danger so I acquired a gun You married a stranger, all I could do was run, run, run You required the danger, I acquired a gun You married a stranger then all we were was done Ten years of hard labor is a long time But fifty years of disappointment is a long time too I met a man who got his 5-year-old a Bocephus tattoo It got out of his hands, and this got out of mine too When you required the danger and I acquired a gun You married a stranger, all I could do was run, run, run You required the danger, so I acquired a gun Transpired was anger then all we were was done Never trust a man without a horror story Eros, the rose and the sore The hearts of Boston are terrified for me The hearts of Boston have a hurricane to answer for Life never labels the last time you do something I swear, I can always do I've taken enough of your charity already And the last thing I need is once more to lose something Which is the right life? The quiet life or the night life? If Cole Porter didn't know, how can I be sure? The hearts of Boston are gonna lie for me 'Cause the hearts of Boston have a hurricane to answer for