Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such An Asshole (YCDTOSA) lyrics

Marty Perellis: Okay, hold your applause for one second. Alright, we can come up and do another encore provided everybody provides with the liquor laws, so, pa** any gla**es that are on the table to the end of the aisle and Mario'll let us do another encore, so just, anybody with a gla**: Don't give the waitress a hard time, just pa** the gla**es to the end of the aisle so the bus boys and waitresses can get it, and don't say it's the last sip. Okay, and once again: Frank Zappa and The Mothers Of Invention! FZ: Thank you! Crowd: "Zomby Woof"! "I'm The Slime"! "Zomby Woof"! FZ: No! Crowd: Yeah! FZ: Listen... Crowd: "Louie Louie"! "My Boyfriend's Back"! FZ: Ah, they're going to ah, reload the cameras and we're gonna do a special, 'nuther special number for you, ladies and gentlemen... Lewis: "Dwarf Nebula Processional March & Dwarf Nebula"! Crowd: "Louie Louie"! "LOUIE LOUIE"! FZ: That was quite an experience. "Dwarf Nebula"! Good God! Have you been there too? Alright! It's audience participation time again, ladies and gentlemen. The name of this song is, "Dickie's Such An a**hole," and cancel that for television too, and here's how, here's how the ending goes, and you can sing along. It goes: DICKIE'S SUCH AN a**hole Sincerely, Dick, we mean it! Wee-ooo FZ: Alright, we don't need to practice that, you know, I'm sure you got the lick down just like "El Monte," I'll show you where it comes. It's right at the end of the song, just where all those endings belong. (Let's give it right to them! Give it to them. I mean: this is going to them.) Good Lord, we're so professional! One 'n one is eleven! Two 'n two is twenty-two! Won't somebody kindly tell me What the government's tryin' t' do... Dickie's just too tricky For a chump like me to use Well, you'd take that sub-committee serious, boy You might get a seizure from the evenin' news Well, yeah, yeah Millions 'n millions of dollars... Much as he might need... He could open up a chain of motels, people On the highway, yes indeed! Quadrophonic desperation! You know, there'd be a cable all under your bed Well, if you just might break some wind in your slumber The FBI is gonna get your number GONNA GET YA GONNA GET YA GONNA JUMP UP THE SUB-COMMITTEE AND GET YA! GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI DONE GOT YOUR NUMBER THE FBI DONE GOT YOUR NUMBER THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER THE FBI GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER Tryin' not to worry Tryin' not to care But you know, I get delighted When some microphone's not there Can't have no private conversations Nowhere In the USA Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the world Find out that their government Is just the same ol' way Yeah, every day... Let me tell you one thing right now Let me tell you one thing right here Let me make this perfectly clear Let me tell you 'bout this right here You know you put me in office So you must have wanted me in office I've did you no harm You know I'm not a crook You know I'm innocent I had twenty-five tapes I only have ten I don't know what happened to the rest Musta gave 'em to a friend Bebe Somebody Ronald Somebody Who Was it? Who? We know you're not a crook We know you're not a crook All we wanna say is one more thing now: The gangster stepped right up Kissed him on the lip good-bye Made him a co*ks**er by proxy, yes he did An' he didn't even bat an eye! The man in the White House – oh! He's got a conscience – oh! He's got a conscience as black as sin! There's just one thing I wanna know – How'd that a**hole ever manage to get in? FZ: Here it comes, ladies and gentlemen, sing right along: DICKIE'S SUCH AN a**hole Sincerely, Dick, we mean it Wee-ooo Terry Bozzio: Lemme tell ya... I love this man, I work for this man, but this show has like pushed me beyond the brink of what I can physically... Roy Estrada: WHOAAAH! Terry: ...withstand. My hands are... I mean, look at these calluses! Jesus Christ! I've had a hard tour, I mean, Jesus, we had the, the, the f**ing roadmanager committed suicide... Adrian Belew: Oh Terry! Terry: ...then my girlfriend fell out the f**in' window... Adrian: Oh Terry! Terry: I mean, it's been hard, you know, and, and now man! I mean, sh**, this f**in' sh**, I mean, we have to do two, two f**in' shows, two nights in a row! You know what it's like to beat the sh** out of the f**in' drums, two shows... Adrian: Two nights in a row! Terry: ...two nights in a row!? I MEAN I CAN'T fu*kIN' TAKE THAT KINDA sh*t! Adrian: HE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! He can't take it anymore, look at his hands... Terry: My hands, hey, I feel like I've been pounding nails, I feel like I've been hittin' my goddamn hands with a hammer!