Frank Zappa - Briefcase Boogie lyrics

Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier) Steve vai (guitar) Ray white (guitar, vocals) Tommy mars (keyboards) Chuck wild (piano) Arthur barrow (ba**) Scott thunes (ba**) Jay anderson (string ba**) Ed mann (percussion) Chad wackerman (drums) Ike willis (vocals) Terry bozzio (vocals) Dale bozzio (vocals) Napoleon murphy brock (vocals) Bob harris (vocals) Johnny "guitar" watson (vocals) Harry: (to thing-fish) Anything you say, master! take me, i'm yours! Rhonda: (broadway-style fake singing) Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way! Oh, what fun it is to ride To chicago every day, oh... Thing-fish: Oooh, lawd! lookit you, boy! chain thoo de nipples 'n evvy goddam thing! you a sick white muthaf**er, ain'tcha? Rhonda: Bells on bob-tail ring, Making spirits bright! Oh, what fun it is to ride To chicago every night, oh... Harry: For chrissake, rhonda! have you no shame? Thing-fish: Y'all make up y'mind yet, 'bouts de mammy o' yo' dreams? Harry: You bet! i've waited all my life for this moment! my heart is fluttering! if only i could submit myself on approval, for a limited time only...to ...to that nasty little rubber mammy on your kne Thing-fish: Sister ob'dewlla 'x'? de mys'try sister? y'all wants t'party hearty with de min'yature rubber mammy wit de string out de back? yow! dintcha get 'nuff 'buse fum de other b**h when y'was livin' i Card-bo'd hut? Rhonda: Harry...harry...hey! harry! f**ing wor-r-r-mmmmmmmmmm! i want a divorce, harry! Harry: Not now, dearest, please! this is serious! little mammy, what'll it be? hips or lips? Harry snatches sister ob'dewlla 'x' away from thing-fish, bashing himself with it in an irrational manner. Rhonda un-zips the santa claus costume, revealing the rubber body suit, hoping for some sign of interest from her deranged husband. there isn't any...he's beating the f** out of himself and lov Very minute of it. She squeezes her rubber tits, as if to squirt them at him. still no interest. Rhonda: You're a wor-r-r-r-mmmmmmm! a f**ing wor-r-r-r-m-m-m-m-mmmmmmmmmmm! these are my tits, harry! i have tits! look! look at me! look at my wonderful tits, you f**ing wor-r-r-r-r-mmmmmmmm! i'm goi Pretend i'm squirting them on you! whoo! wheeeee! almost gotcha! Harry: Not now, rhonda! ow! oof! oh, i love this! hurt me! hurt me! oh, pull my chain, you tiny potato-headed whatchamacallit! Rhonda: They're almost squirting, harry! look! look! whoooooo! whooooo! whoooo! you f**ing worm! Thing-fish: Ob'dewlla! is y'awright? don't be pullin' de boy's chain too hard dere! he gots 'nuthuh show t'do t'morrow! don't put dat in yo' mouf, girl! i knows y'cain hep y'seff wit dat crazy muthaf**er ' ' you like dat, but jes' hang on a lil' longuh...he be droppin' de wad putty soon now! Rhonda: (pinching her nipples, jiggling her tits) Jingle bells, jingle bells... Harry: Oh! this is divine! Rhonda: This is my p**y, harry! look! see it? you know what i'm gonna do with it, you worm? i'm gonna make it f** something! that's right! you won't get any of it...because you're disgusting! an' i do Eed you, mr. first-nighter! my wonderful, wonderful p**y doesn't need you! i have my briefcase, harry! i'm going to f** my briefcase! i'm going to...look! look at this! i got it right over her Ere! see it? my big, brown, briefcase! my briefcase! it's big, harry! it's full of business papers...from my career! A tan and brown briefcase, seven feet tall, is lowered in. francesco watches it land near his window. he exits the bungalow with a can of crisco and a violin case. n pantomime, he cautiously int Ts rhonda's monologue, suggesting that she examine the contents of the case. it contains a strap-on dil*o of such ridiculous proportions that a chain leading from just behind the head of it must Ooked to a leather dog collar around rhonda's neck, in order to hold it up. francesco recommends the crisco as a lubricant, daubs on a bit with a miniature doll's foot, finally indicating that s Nceal her pubic hair with a cardboard box, in the manner preferred by famous singing christians. Rhonda reaches inside the briefcase and locates her 'special atomic gla**es' (with tiny doll arms reaching out through tiny cardboard boxes), and puts them on. She reaches in again and finds an artificial hamburger with a red ribbon on it. she mounts it on top of her head, tying the ribbon in a neat bow below her chin. ready at last, she humps the brie Vigorously. Rhonda: (contd.) I'm gonna put my gla**es on, harry! i'm gonna put my hair up in a bun! then, i'm going f** f** f**! ha-ha-ha-hahhhhh! look! see me? see how i got my hair up? whooo! i'm really doing it! unngh Gh! Harry: Rhonda...have you no shame! keep the briefcase closed, for chrissake! all your documents are falling out! Rhonda: (as over-sized file folders emerge) Unngh! i'm good! oh god i'm good! harder! faster! unngh! unngh! this is terrific! boy, i need it so bad... Harry: Those are the warner brothers files, aren't they dear? don't you think there'll be some questions about the condition of the blue paper? Thing-fish: Girl! bes' be careful wit de latch! Rhonda: (with the handle in her mouth, semi-intelligible) I'm s**ing the handle now, harry! look! mmmmmm! it tastes good! mmmmmm! mmmmmm! the handle! the handle! Harry: Hurt me, ob'dewlla! make me whimper and beg for your tiny rubber love! After nibbling on it as if it were a giant piece of corn-on-the-cob, thing-fish hands rhonda an oversized pink fountain pen with her name on the clip. Rhonda: I've got a fountain pen, harry! i've got a fountain pen with my initials on it! i'm putting it in my mouth, harry! i'm gonna get it wet! i'm gonna stuff it up my a**hole and ride the briefcase a You disgusting perverted ba*tard worm! i'm gonna do it! look, harry! whooo! unngh! unngh! god-damit, harry! watch me! this is for your own good!