Frank Zappa - The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival lyrics

FZ: Well it's contest time ladies and gentlemen. Direct from Madison, Wisconsin, it's the Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival, just as promised. Vinnie: Cough! FZ: Heavy duty? Maroon nylon heavy duty. Okay . . . Light blue cotton with tiny skid . . . . That's getting him very excited because it appears that the bottom parts of those pants are welded together. Okay let's try this, alice blue nylon . . . Vinnie: These smell like the same ones I had last night. FZ: For those of you who didn't hear he says those smell like the same ones he had last night. Did you like them? You don't like those? Vinnie: Maybe they are, maybe she's following us around. FZ: Black Nylon! Vinnie: Ooooohhhh please! FZ: Black Nylon, re . . . e-hem, registring a 19 on the Richter scale. Vinnie: Oh, God . . . gotta keep on . . . hah hah, it's f**in' disgusting! FZ: These are very light blue and apparently have come in contact with some corrosive material that has eaten the bottom out of it. Vinnie: China syndrome. FZ: What? Vinnie: China Syndrome! FZ: Yeah, ha ha ha ha ha! Awright, rustic hokey pokey, model number thirteen. Vinnie: Oorhh, nehh. (hack, hack) FZ: Blue with the little embroidered things on the front. Vinnie: This smells like armpits. Ugh . . . FZ: Okay who wins? Those belong to Chuck Eldridge. Ike: Hi. FZ: Sorry.