I'll soon become a wreck They're breathin' on my neck Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como They're really coming fast Who knows I may be pa**ed By Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como The fact that girlies scream They say will cause me grief But if they ever stop I'll find that I'm back on relief It'll mean the end of me Good news for Tommy D And Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como Why should it get their goat Each time I bend a note Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como At my pictures, they throw rocks They're both at Twentieth Fox Not Dick Todd, but Dick Haymes, and Como They say that I need weight I'm just a ma** of joints I'd like to put on weight But where the heck can I get points If at RKO I pout, they look at me and shout, "Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como" Everytime I sing, I'm compared with Bing by Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como Bing's four boys are sublime But they won't give me time Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Perry (that's the other guy's first name) I'll never sing like Bing I know I don't compare I'll grant them he's got voice If they'll grant me, that I've got hair But then why all this fuss There's room for all of us Dick Haymes, Dick Todd, and Como There's just one Crosby There's room for all of us