Flight Of The Conchords - Not Crying lyrics

So you're leaving? I can tell because I can see you're leaving But if you're trying to break my heart Your plan is flawed from the start You can't break this heart, it's liquid It melted when I met you And as you leave, don't turn back to me Don't turn around to see if I'm crying I'm not crying, not crying, not crying I'm not crying, it's just been raining on my face And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks Please, please don't tell my mates I'm not crying, no, I'm not crying And if I am crying, it's not because of you It's because I'm thinking about a friend of mine You don't know who is dying, that's right, dying These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me I've just been cutting onions, I'm making a lasagna for one Oh, I'm not crying, no There's just a little bit of dust in my eye That's from the path that you made when you said your goodbye I'm not weeping cause you won't be here to hold my hand For your information, there's an inflammation in my tear gland I'm not upset because you left me this way My eyes are just a little sweaty today They've been looking around and are searching for you They've been looking for you even though I told them not to These aren't tears of sadness, they're tears of joy I'm just laughing, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha I'm sitting at this table called love Staring down at the irony of life How come we've reached this fork in the road And yet it cuts like a knife? I'm not crying I'm not crying I'm not crying