Hello I'm a truck You've heard songs about truck drivers many times their stories told How they pulled out of Pittsburg for six days on the road Bout the Feather River Canyon and climbin' the old grapevine That old roadhouse down in Texas and the girls they've left behind You've heard their tales of daring and I think that's just fine But if you can spare a minute well I'd like to tell you mine There'd be no truck drivers if it wasn't for us trucks No double clutching gear jaming coffee drinking nuts They'll drive their way to glory and they have all the luck There'd be no truck drivers if it wasn't for us trucks Well there he sits in that cafe drinking coffee and telling lies Prob'ly telling 'em how to talk that hill ten miles back How telling 'em how he missed a gear and that Volkswagen full of hippies Pa**ed us like I was sitting up on jacks or how we took that curve over on 66 Han't-a been for me hanging on the shoulder we'd both wound up in the ditch If we're on time he takes the credit if we're late I get the blame Up those hills with shutters open my stacks are running flame My stack a running red light s**ing diesel from the tanks I take him south and bring him back without a word of thanks So now you've heard my story and I guess it's my tough luck There'd be no truck drivers if it wadn't for us trucks There'd be no truck drivers... Look at him sipping coffee and flirtin' with that waitress And where do you think he left me that's right next to cattle truck (mooo) Why couldn't we have put me next to that little pink mack sittin' over there Gosh she's got pretty mud flaps and talk about stracked they're both chromed Well he'll be coming out in a minute and he'll get that bar And he'll go around and beat on my tires You know for two pints of diesel I'd have a flat on the inside dual Ha that fixed him I never did like the way he drives anyhow Thainks he's God's gift to waitresses he never gives 'em a tip Well I know what he's gonna do now he's gonna take out The tape cartridge of Back Owens and play it again I don't know why he don't get a Merle Haggard tape