Family Guy - Babysitting Is a Bum Deal lyrics

Here is the tale of a babysitting job The baby is something of a snob (Oh, go screw yourselves) So listen very closely, and you'll find That what they say is not the same as what's on their minds Aren't you a cute little boy? (Look at that melon shaped head) Having you here is a joy (And in an hour you'll be dead) Sit on my knee (Please don't go Poo) Nice place to be (This one's for you) Babysitting is a bum deal Why don't we watch Will and Grace? (Jesus, do I need a smoke?) Jack puts a smile on my face (Oh, what a surprise, a gay joke) I like your house (The ceiling has cracks) I like your blouse (Miss TJ Maxx) Babysitting is a bum deal So they sat as time went by Slowly as time could go The baby blurred, and softly cursed 'Cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoes And her hair made her look like a hoe Time for your bottle my sweet (This little brat smells like piss) Always a succulent treat (While I s** that, you s** this) Aren't you a sight (Look at him drool) You're a delight (Damn you, you fool) Babysitting is a bum deal The diaper change was quite a job The grossest I've ever seen The baby smiled and took a breath And I grunted and pooped out a poop That looked something like Matthew Modine Someday you might meet a girl (Yeah, she's gonna be your right hand) Maybe it's you my sweet pearl (Darling, I'd rather screw sand) Have a good night (You little creep) Have a good night (Die in your sleep) Babysitting is a bum deal Babysitting is a bum deal